where did I find it!?

it’s funny that you should ask.

I asked the dancing flower

who heard it from the dancing grass

currents change

currency inflates

the deepest-rooted tree sways

colors fade

the most beautiful tulip loses its spring

and the eyes inevitably lose their glisten.

the tide retreats

the mind forgets

all of this

yes, all of it

is love’s way

of inviting us deeper

what if….

what if you say yes?

for I am all this

because this created me

and I create this

eyes so full of stars

I'm concerned for their safety

to think I'm one of them.

the moon's reflection on my heart

in the same place she left her mark

to think

I'm this blessed.

as quickly as it comes

it goes

as soon as you know

you don't

I grieve for those who weren't this lucky

and smile because I know

I'm only a moment away from not being okay

and that moment doesn't yet exist.

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

last time I was here

the wildflowers were in full bloom

chest tall and shoulders back, favoring the sun

having their moment

unashamed, rightfully so

a gentle reminder it's not about me.

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

I met a small frog as she passed

she stopped for a moment

I said hello

she carried on her way.

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

I met many butterflies

are they related?

what beautiful colors they have.

their flight pattern seems a bit erratic

they must get tired

they stop for breaks in the grass.

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

crickets and fiddling crawlers

strawberries and little moths

I'm not sure what to do, I'm supposed to mow this grass

it seems inhumane

maybe I'll mow a little less?

maybe I'll invent a warning system that alerts my friends?

maybe I'm a looney tune?

I prefer the word unique.

me and my friends are unique

we live in the grass.

the orange sky sighs

in concern for my safety

ha! you and me both

if I'm busy protecting you

then I don't have to be me

art is beautiful

the trauma and the treatment

are finally friends

it's a cadence and a rhyme designed to make the blind

see through the images that appear

from vibration between the ears

a pale moon is comfortably splayed

on air so lush and crisp

I can’t resist a bite.

leaves crumple under my feet

my toes are cold

and try to warm up

by dancing in the dew.

the cabin's light glistens in the distance

and the smoke dances over the flame

to that beat, we've all heard.

purple sky

you destroy the construct of my mind

purple sky

how have I been so blind to this

purple sky

have I lost my mind to this

purple sky

purple sky

you make the living come alive

purple sky

what have you left behind

purple sky

why does fear ring the loudest through the bells of liberty–and why do the poor sing their song through the mouths filled with plenty?

I hear the forgotten cry in every chuckle.

the bell rings so loud that I can’t move a muscle.

where the old wind blows that's where my mind goes

chuckling and jiving are the trees

the tall grass sways as the animals graze

nothing here begs to be seen.

it's little old me and my dear friend

the tree

together

blowing in the wind.

look! two shooting stars!

two thirty in the morning

those two were for me.

really!? sun halo?!

two thirty afternoon time

that was just for me.

a beautiful song

sung by the river and birds

that to, just for me.

a beautiful dance

by the waking grass today

this fine day, all mine.

spun cotton candy

blue and white, what's it taste like?

prepared by the sky.

all this just for me

all this just for me to see

I feel so special.

summer in Vermont

my soul enlightened by you

summer in Vermont.

look for your face in a flower

and then you'll see

how I see myself looking back at me

when I look for my face in a flower.

am I crazy?

maybe

but I'm the one looking at a flower

who could be having a better day than me?

so do me that favor

please do it for me

look for your face in a flower

then you'll see.

“til death do us part”

only if you do your part

true love is a choice

today, we celebrate small steps

with confetti fingers and jazz hands

we celebrate

with unpredictable feet.

yes, I've been busy

weaving

and though I'm not bulletproof

I dare you to try and shoot.

until the day the rainbow rains

I'll stare up at the sky

is the sky just an ocean

we are destined to swim in?

are the mountains just step stools

placed precariously for you and me

to see the world upside down?

do memories fall from the ocean above?

when the raindrops cry

and their tears land gently on my tongue

so gently

that they create no splash nor sound

can you hear my insides smile?

want to find yourself?

spend time with only yourself

and do nothing else

before I forget to tell you

did you know that flowers

are just old friends

dying, to say hello?

I'm falling in love

with the bite in the air

the crispness coinciding with the crises

we live our lives within.

falling in love with the waves

shared by the tall grass

dare I take a swim?

in love with the vision

the vision

of my toes crunching

rather than collapsing with the sand

I'm falling in love with falling in love

and am excited to catch the leaf

falling like molasses.

i am the birch tree

shedding and finally letting

my true colors show

do less.

do so much less.

experiece it. you have no control.

no action words

action occurs.

I rejoice!

I am alive!

just to sing a solo to the passing cloud

"bravo! bravo!"

yes, even the spider is in awe.

ask for help

listen to silence

listen to sounds

not for answers

I am not these thoughts that cascade in my mind

I am the eternal

ethereal

evolution

redefined

get situated

get uncomfortable

look for support

find support

relax. repeat.

get situated

get uncomfortable

look for support

find none

freak out a bit

pretend your fine.

get situated

get uncomfortable

look for support

find none

break down

freak the f*** out

surrender

be uncomfortable

panic

while surrendered

relax. repeat.

depression is a deep, dark hole

some days, I fly high above

throw pennies and make wishes

chuckling that this ever existed.

from where I stand today

I’m only a foot away.

you do the math.

friends can’t help you now.

that’s ok

you are the way.

intellectualize?

no.

stride

yes :)

I wasn’t ready for any of this

eat me

enjoy it

please

I am a sausage too

there is no right way

no right way to recover

don't be afraid to recover

allow yourself to fail

allow yourself the opportunity to be embarrassed

feel the shame of letting someone down

build up the courage to go against the grain

and run your fingers over the guilt which arises

when one follows their way

don't fight

face

this, too, is love

it’s not self-improvement

self-improvement means I'll keep fighting

and sprint until I run

run until I walk until I crawl

crawl until I lay until I decay

and if I'm found, I'll say

"leave me here, I'm fine."

selflessness is selfish

because in those moments

intentions are not with

everyone involved.

acceptance and self-exploration

is the way

the question is

can I be with all

internally and externally

with love?

for then I will know peace.

I am weightless

yet a heavy presence

it is cold here

yet only snowing in the distance

a throne fit for a king

the mountain's valley is

glistening

listening closely

excited for Your Majesty's arrival

though I never left

it's incredible how many words we say in a day

just giving energy away

I’m either way too high

or completely grounded

one thing is certain

I'm dumbfounded

by the sound of the black crow's wings

disturbing so much air

balance lost touch with my feet.

the apples fall and hit the ground

like their stems were still reaching

teaching

that even letting go

is a doing

I’m going to be fine

and if i’m not

that’s fine too

HA HA HA

who was that silly silly man who thought

they could figure this out?

there is nowhere else to go from here.

stop trying to see

be